


playdate

by PaigeOfSpace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pre-Scratch, lalonde and harleyenglish friendships need more love, more lil babies, when it comes to flirting grandpa harley can dish it out but he cant take it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 14:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6055939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaigeOfSpace/pseuds/PaigeOfSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A renowned billionaire explorer and a professional lady discuss business and a time paradox is narrowly avoided.</p>
            </blockquote>





	playdate

**Author's Note:**

> lets play "who can catch all the callbacks to previous dialog" bc tbh i had a lot of fun with that

“Roxanne Lalonde, you’re looking lovely as always,” the renowned billionaire explorer said, taking the professional lady’s hand in his and placing on it a kiss.

“Pssh, Jacob, such a charmer,” Roxanne held a hand to her face. “And this must be little Jade!” she said with a gasp, looking down at the baby girl in Jacob’s arms, who was clutching a brown-and-purple stuffed rabbit. Roxanne tickled the child’s belly with a finger, causing her to giggle with glee. “Let’s put her with Rosie, they can have a playdate!”

“Brilliant!” Jacob said, walking over to where Roxanne’s daughter sat on the carpet, holding a bunny of her own and surrounded by many other plushes and toys, and placed Jade down beside her. Jade held out her bunny to Rose, who dropped hers and took it, and Jade smiled and started clapping at the acceptance of her offer. Jacob chuckled and joined Roxanne on the couch facing the girls.

“How was your trip?” Roxanne asked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Eh…” Jacob grimaced.

“Gotcha. Not easy travellin' halfway across the world with a four-month-old infant?”

“Well I couldn’t exactly leave her alone on the island! Not until she’s old enough to hold a rifle at least,”

“What brings you here, anyway? Is it business, or… pleasure?” Roxanne said with a wink, causing Jacob to turn red and tug at his collar.

“Business, actually. Not that seeing you isn’t pleasurable! Oh criminy, that came out wrong…” he said, nervously fumbling for a handkerchief. Rose babbled a few syllables and Jade let out a shriek of laughter. Roxanne put a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, Jacob, I know what you meant, I was just messin' with you. Pullin' your handsomely-groomed 'stache, if you will.” she said with a smile. “What type of business are we talkin’, your business? Or, uh… SBURB business?” The last part she whispered, as if the two infants could possibly be eavesdropping.

“A little of both,” Jacob replied, having regained composure after wiping his glasses and putting them back on. “I had a meeting with some shareholders in the city, and I figured while I was in this part of the world I could meet with you to discuss some, shall we say, new developments?”

“Developments like what?” Roxanne asked, standing up to pour herself another drink after having finished the last one.

“Well, for starters, I believe I’ve found the First Guardian of Earth.” Roxanne suddenly looked up at him, wide-eyed with surprise.

“You _what!?_ ” Her martini glass overfilled. “Shit,” As she searched for towels to clean up the mess, Jacob explained.

“There was a dog there on the island when we first arrived. In fact, I daresay it’s been waiting for us _the whole time_. Or rather, waiting for her.” Jacob looked down at where Jade sat on the carpet, playing with a toy of Rose’s. _‘The dog says,_ **BARK!** _’_

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Roxanne said with indignation, looking up from the floor with a handful of vodka-soaked towels. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘waiting for her’?”

“I can’t explain it,” Jacob shrugged, “I mean, it seems to like me well enough, but it’s _really_ taken a shining to Jade.”

“So it’s like a god dog - I mean, guard dog? … No, wait, god dog’s pretty accurate.”

“But it’s more than that! It won’t let anything get close to her, sometimes not even myself. And it’s always watching over her when she’s playing, like a mama wolf. I’m surprised the blasted thing didn’t follow us here!”

“Sounds like you’re in danger of being replaced!” Roxanne said with a laugh as she rejoined him on the couch, but Jacob’s face fell. Jade looked up at him with curiosity.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he said sadly, “I think I may not be there when she begins her journey.”

“That’s no way to think!” Roxanne said, trying in vain to cheer him up, “I bet you’ve got another twenty years in you! … Wow, shit, that sounded really bad, didn’t it?” Jacob laughed disheartenedly.

“Thanks for trying, Rox, but it’s not as simple as that. I saw it in Skaia’s clouds - Jade as an adolescent, standing in front of me, except I was… stuffed.”

“Oh, Jacob…” Roxanne wrapped her arms around his shoulders, choosing not to comment on the rather repulsive Harley family tradition, and he hugged her back. They stayed like that for a few moments, Jacob’s face buried in Roxanne’s shoulder, until he spoke up again.

“That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about, actually. I visited the Medium again.”

“Again? I really wish you wouldn’t, what if something happened? Also, how come you don’t tell me these things sooner!?” Roxanne scolded.

“I would’ve, believe me! Communications on the island aren’t fully set up yet. And as for visiting Skaia, I think you’ll come to change your tune, because I saw _you_ there! Well, a future you, at any rate, as well as Mr. Strider and Mr. Egbert.”

“Really?” Roxanne said, “Well, at least I’ll be surrounded by a bunch of hot eligible bachelors in the future.” Jacob blushed again.

“W-well, yes, but that wasn’t actually what I wanted to discuss. See, the thing is, while I was there… something went wrong. _Really_ wrong.”

“Fuck. See, this is _exactly_ why we shouldn’t be going to the Medium, we’ll just make the whole session fubar!”

“I had nothing to do with it though! One of Derse's agents went completely off the rails. He’d somehow managed to nab the black queen’s ring, and went on a killing spree with his newfound power!”

“It couldn’t have been _that_ bad, though… could it?” Roxanne asked, afraid of the answer.

“Roxanne, he _caused Prospit’s moon to fall_. And Jade… Jade was killed in the accident.” Jacob’s eyes welled with tears. He looked down at his granddaughter, who had begun to fall asleep, snuggled next to Rose’s bunny. Roxanne said nothing. “I’m beginning to wonder if this session is destined to fail, if all of our work and preparations have been in vain.” Roxanne sighed, took a deep breath, and spoke.

“Who are you and what have you done with Jacob Harley?”

“Pardon?”

“This doesn’t sound like you at all! I mean, you’re the man who believes in _everyone_. You’re usually so full of optimism, hearing you sound so hopeless… it’s scaring me.”

“After seeing my granddaughter and myself both dead, I don’t think there’s much left to believe in.”

“But there is!” Roxanne insisted. “You have to believe in yourself, that you’ll raise your granddaughter right and teach her everything she needs to know in the time you have left. And even more than that, you have to believe in them,” she said with a smile, looking at the girls, who had now both fallen asleep, side by side. “You have to believe that they’ll be strong enough to make the right decisions. That they will be able to make the best of a bad situation, no matter how shitty the hand is they’ve been dealt.” Jacob sniffed and wiped his tears with the kerchief.

“You’re right, Rox. What was I thinking? There’s always something worth fighting for!” he said, sitting up straight and making a fist.

“Now that’s the Jacob Harley I know!” Roxanne said, punching him in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“Oh, sorry.” At that moment, Rose awoke and began crying. “Ah, shit, I should really put Rosie down for her nap.”

“Actually, Jade and I should probably make our departure as well,” Jacob said, getting to his feet and lifting up a still-sleeping Jade, bunny and all. Roxanne walked the Harleys to the door with Rose in her arms.

“Well, say hello to your good - I mean, god - I MEAN, guard dog for me.” she said, before noticing something was wrong. “Wait, Jacob, that’s the wrong bunny!” Sure enough, Jade was still holding Rose’s bunny, while her own sat on the carpet behind them.

“Oh, consarn it, you’re right!” Jacob took the brown bunny from Jade, causing her to wake up, and gave her the brown-and-purple one. “That could’ve been bad. Imagine if it had caused some weird time paradox or something!”

“Heheh, yeah. Like what if the the success of the entire session depended on this raggedy old rabbit?” Roxanne laughed.

“Now wouldn’t that be something?” Jacob replied. “Well, so long, you two! I’ll be sure to contact you as soon as I’m able.” he started down the path back to his car, then turned back to Roxanne, still standing in the doorway. “Oh, and Rox? Thank you.” She smiled.

“What are friends for?” As Jacob walked away, Jade looked over his shoulder and waved to the two Lalondes. Rose reached out a hand, as though begging her new friend not to leave. “Don’t worry, Rosie,” Roxanne assured her, “We’ll see them again one day.”

**Author's Note:**

> laughs bitterly because rose and jade still havent actually met


End file.
